recovery mode

Hey hey it’s either it’s temporary but depression mode is fading off a bit. Dude. Okay I may not shop like a loon nor do I even enter clothes shops. I do that if I want or need to get a shirt, jeans, or t-shirt (even a backpack or sneakers/cap) but shopping DOES make one happy yay. I wish though that I could have gotten a book. I’ve been wanting to get a James Patterson book. I gave that Dan Brown book a chance and it’s pretty intriguing. You know how they say that you only have 5-10 seconds to grab a customer’s attention? Dude hooked me in with the first sentence. I think I’ll go check and see if I can get the book out of the library. dad thinks I shouldn’t read before break. WTF. Up theirs I’d say. I need to take a break now and then too don’t I!?!!! Sheesh. What a mook. Neways I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t get any book. I have Monday break because it’s labour’s day man.Oh yeah I got a T_shirt. yay.It hurts to say but the Harry Potter Book 6 is now only like 39.90!!!! God. so totally learned my lesson. I am so not gonna buy it there and then, I’d wait for it to chill..T___T..then I’d get a cheaper price on it..hopefully.But you know I would never heed on my own advise. But again we’ll never know. I think I should get my confidence back so I can focus on my classes again. People’s opinions and insults should not barrier me from succeeding.

Eggy site :

Published in: on April 24, 2006 at 8:55 am  Leave a Comment  

The progress so far.

Dear Bloggy woggy
Whazzup. School’s been keeping me real busy and the campaign is yet to come however we have come up with different ideas on the posters and flyers..finally. Damn it. Life is a bit silly for me on the relationship side. I know I already went through some disappointment in my love life but I just feel that sometimes I feel lonely. The poem below really says it all. Anyway I know this sounds funny but I always was a bit naive. I was easily influenced by other people but I always knew I could love and trust Sasha, those rumours about her being close to Yasmin scares me a bit. But she seems to be very nice and caring from what I’ve heard from Natassia..a classmate of mine after hearing my piece of mind, Sasha told Natassia to be there for me whenever I need someone to talk to. That was extremely sweet. Perhaps I can go to her after all. Well I can’t blame my heart for feeling lonely right. Sometimes I wish my love life would improve. It’s not that I don’t take my studies and other things seriously I do but you can’t stop the heart can you?I remember what Phil Collins sang in his song ..”You can’t hurry love, you just have to wait, just trust in the good times, it’s a game of give and take..”

His song has so much meaning to it. I sometimes feel that it’s a bit unfair to a point. I wish there was someone special who is always there for me. Someone who’ll love me. There’s that emotional need for freedom ya know? I have been battling this for ages now. Seeing that I have always been tested by God and well fate, I guess it’s just my little sin for not controlling my emotional bank from spilling. I am so touched today by my classmate and my lecturer. Bless them both. Sometimes to a point I wish I had someone I can talk to about life, and not hide my true self. Life is just so much more than just about following the sheep herd. Life is about living it the way you want. To find happiness and fulfillment.But then again why must man be so mean and controlling. Jade hasn’t been on for a couple of days and I think I’m selfish for not giving her the freedom she deserves. I can’t help it. Damn emotional clingings.I don’t deal well with emotional attachments. I am real good with love and all but I still feel I need advise you know. Like a person to talk to about love advise and relationship advise. Note to everyone..NEVER ever talk to those BE-Frienders..or some help line. I don’t find them helpful. They don’t really give real advise. Find a friend you can trust. I wanted to go see a movie today but I stayed in school in the end. Life is sucky. I told Natassia I am in the wrong country, when it comes to relationships. What she did ask me was a bit hurting and offensive too I guess, but I guess she didn’t know. Love has no face. Why put one on it?

She asked me whether I was aware of the biblical rule and stuff but in the end..isn’t it all about love? She asked me whether I was aware of the fact that the bible had forbidden homosexuality. What the fuck? History has been dramatically changed through the centuries. Who knows the truth? Well I will try to take what Natassia has said to a point about not expecting too much and not being too disappointed if this does not work out. Lots of fishes in the sea. But I’m so fed up being hurt and stuff it’s just a bit annoying is all.

If I could find
one great mind
to say why we love
I would not only find but one
but many a blaze

While love cannot minister a town of marigolds
While silver cannot turn to gold
I find it all possible when our hands twine and hold

While I may not find spring forever in her garden
I shall seek it so in thine eyes
like wine a river full of it
full blossom and full bodied
Sometimes when I cannot begin to understand
why I love you
I do not
because I do
and that’s all there is to it

If doubts becomes desirable
you shower me with reassurance

When I am not with you
the winds in the mid afternoons
doesn’t blow
when I find there is one instead of two
the day becomes undeniably wrong

I have no mood for nothing else
when you are not here with me

though it may
be the border of the river that reaches to your gates
thwart your house thwart the bounds
I love you so much
when my thoughts come to us being apart
I kneel on both knees and cry
because I live for only one
and my eyes are for no one else but you

Your name lingers on my pillow
like perfume like flowers like olive oil
you stain my shirt you stain my heart
I desire for more of you
from each day we are apart
I wish forever more
that one day we will be together
like lovers
like married people should

You Should Be A Poet

You craft words well, in creative and unexpected ways.
And you have a great talent for evoking beautiful imagery…
Or describing the most intense heartbreak ever.
You’re already naturally a poet, even if you’ve never written a poem.
What Type of Writer Should You Be?
Your Inner Child Is Happy

You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing.
You’re cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes.
And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad.
You figure there’s just so many great things to look forward to.
How Is Your Inner Child?
You Are a Newborn Soul

You are tolerant, accepting, and willing to give anyone a chance.
On the flip side, you’re easy to read and easily influenced by others.
You have a fresh perspective on life, and you can be very creative.
Noconformist and nontraditional, you’ve never met anyone who’s like you.

Inventive and artistic, you like to be a trendsetter.
You have an upbeat spirit and you like almost everything.
You make friends easily and often have long standing friendships.
Implusive and trusting, you fall in love a little too easily.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

For those who are interested in what we’re doing check these sites out to see what Gender Awareness is all about:

Sign the petition in nick2015 to save kids and our own future. To make the world a better place 😉

Published in: on April 17, 2006 at 10:31 am  Comments (1)  

Okay the project has begun

Meeting at Friday. Icon designing in progress. Classes are as busy as usual Brain is fried to a KFC crisp. I am running here and there trying to get contacts from my group to come for meetings and cooperate. Sigh. Hannah called me and I swear I can relate to how she feels. Jade and I are getting reacquainted 🙂 more news again soon.

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm – easily excited by many things.
Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.
You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.

You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.
Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.
You’re an instantly passionate person – and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.
Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.
A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?
You Should Be In the Indigo Girls

You’re all about expressing yourself through music
Lyrics are your poetry – think Sylvia Plath meets guitar
What Girl Group Should You Be In?
Published in: on April 7, 2006 at 3:16 pm  Comments (2)